I love hospitality. There is really nothing quite like it. I have observed this art performed by a number of folks through the years, people from wildly divergent backgrounds and classes, cultures, and economic status. I treasure the bits and pieces I have learned from each friend and try to put into practice what each person has taught me.One of the first lessons was taught to us by Bill and Maureen R. Sue and I were newly married, Bill was a small business owner and grad student in two disciplines at two universities. They were as poor as church mice, but they were practitioners of two frequently practiced events that enriched their lives. One was tea. One was conversation. My friend Bill had studied and lived at a Christian commune in Switzerland called L'Abri. L'Abri was home to the great Christian thinker Dr. Francis Schaeffer. For the residents of L'Abri the art of tea and discussion was part of the fabric of life. Bill and Maureen integrated the lessons of tea and talk into their hectic California lifestyles, which is in itself quite a bit of work. Their invitations to tea transformed us. They didn't have the resources to entertain in a grand style, but they made totally amazing tea. Murchies in British Columbia is purveyor of fine tea to the queen of England. They also supplied tea to Bill and Maureen of Polk Street, San Diego. It was, and is exquisite tea. It was the tea they always served. Their philosophy was, "we can't afford much, but let's celebrate in a totally over the top way this small part of our life." So, Murchies it was. Not Lipton, not Costco, not even "Constant Comment," but Murchies- purveyor to the queen. We got to know them over the pleasure and warmth of conversation and a pot of really marvellous tea.
The second lesson was taught to me by Bill and Sarah B. Bill was brilliant, trained as an architect, but dabbled in businesses ranging from Almond orchards in the Central Valley, to oil wells in Texas, and oh yes, a little world renown porcelain business in the family for generations. I will never forget the first time I met them. I was referred to them to do some landscape work by one of their friends. We had spoken on the phone a number of times, but had not yet met, until that fateful Saturday.
I pulled up to a hillside estate in Point Loma I can only describe as breathtaking. If you are familiar with the post cards of San Diego that frame the Bay with the Yacht Club in the foreground, and downtown and the mountains in the background- that is their view. From the moment we met they exuded the most gracious, hospitable, and friendly spirit I have yet to encounter. They informed me they were departing for a weekend getaway. Within twenty minutes of meeting me they said " here is the key to the house, we picked up food for you from "Old Trieste," there are snacks in the fridge, we have picked up other things for you as well, the bathroom is down the hall, oh and by the way, you look like you need a cup of coffee." I had done nothing to deserve such gracious and trusting liberality of spirit. I immediately became their dear friend and was showered with their abundant kindness.
What happened next transformed coffee for me. Bill took coffee beans from the refrigerator, put then in a small grinder and held down a button. The only coffee I ever knew was disgusting granules from a jar one would mix with hot water-instant. Yecccchhhhh. The step up was ground from a can. I thought I really became quite a "gourmet" the first time I bought Yuban. Well, within seconds this aromatic, rich, toasty, scent began to flow from the kitchen through the whole house. It was just coffee. What coffee! But I felt like Ponce de Leon that had found the "fountain of youth." I never smelled anything like it before. This was two decades ago. There was no Starbucks, no whole bean coffee at the grocery store. Then we sipped our coffee. My oh my. I had never had coffee like that before. It so affected me, the first thing I spoke about when I arrived home was not the house or the grounds, nor the new friends, nor the other aspects of Bill and Sarah's incredible graciousness, but that coffee. Those kinds of moments freeze time for me. Over coffee with Bill, I told him I was uncomfortable with being given the key to their house and the run of their home. Bill said,"Friends I trust, like and trust you, and a house and its contents- it is just stuff, but friendships, now that is real treasure." Bill is one the reasons I am writing this blog. Twenty-five years ago Bill told me, "you really should write down the things you know, maybe even do a subscription newsletter on gardening." He was ahead of his time. Through the years, we had many lingering cups of french roast at "A la Francaise" before it was cool in America to do that.
I learned hospitality doesn't need to be opulent to be grand. Taking time to chat pays intangible dividends. Enjoy some small bit of something grandiose on occasion. Make someone an esteemed and honored guest in your home, even the plumber or landscaper. Hospitality is commanded by God, who sets the standard of warmth, undeserved love, graciousness, and hospitality. Folks that love God and people should have well worn homes lovingly put into service for others. As my friend Bill said "It's just stuff." Make some coffee or tea and share it with someone. Converse a little. You will be reviving one of the lost arts.
